Walk Free Ministries

My Martha plans changed into a Mary process

How God changed  my Martha plan into a Mary process.

Many of you will recall I wrote “The VISION”
My plan of what would happen this year in East Africa.
# of trainings, # of participants, # of testimonies….
I had a planed conferences each month: two or three.

For various reasons the number has been closer to one.
Feelings: unproductive, failure, wasteful of resources>
Distracted by all the preparations, worried and upset.
Last month things were improving as there were two>
Finally, this month my plan was for three. My plan …

Two weeks ago, potentially dangerous demonstrations
This week, demonstrations became riots.
Resulting in cancellations of two trainings.

I looked back at the past months . . .
Far less accomplishments than I had planned.
Far fewer conferences than I had planned.
Far less productive than I had planned.

A friend had asked on facebook chat>
If I thought God was proud of me.
I felt so inadequate I cried.

Late Friday, I recalled there was a KIC retreaT.
About forty minutes away from the troubles in Kampala
Where I thought things would be a bit safer.

“An Oasis on the Journey” by John n Karen Zilen
Today’s lesson Luke 10:38-42
Was on our self-expectations to be Martha’s
But the Lord Jesus desiring us to be Mary’s
Martha was distracted by all the preparations
And worried and upset about many things,
While Mary has chosen what is better and
Sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.

And Jesus
Even tho he only had three years to minister.
Even tho he was God omnipotent.
Even tho he had a perfect relationship with God.
Often with drew to lonely places and prayed.
Luke 5:15-16
And told his disciples after ministry:
Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place
And get some rest. Mark 6:31-32

So I once again reflected upon the past months
This time letting go of my counting . . .
# of trainings, # of participants, # of testimonies..
I looked at the gift of time to chosen a better way
I looked at the gift of time to sit at His feet.
I looked at the gift of time to read His Word.
I looked at the gift of time to hear His voice.
I looked at the gift of time to see His images.
I looked at the gift of time to receive ministry
I looked at the gift of time to attend retreats.

I looked at the gift of time to write . . .
About how forgiveness heals chronic pain,
About how God’s Light Dispels the Darkness,
About God’s Word to have a Relationship.
About God Conquers Fatalism and Helplessness.
Email prayers of comfort and encouragement,
Email prayers for healing of body and soul,.

It is difficult to articulate
How much growth, maturity and healing
Has taken place in these months.

It is difficult to articulate
How much more clearly I hear His voice.
How much more easily I see His visions.
I notice it most when I do my trainings
Because they are empowered by His Spirit.
Because they are more transformative.
Because they prompt more tears.

I have not let go of my goals to do trainings.
I have not let go of encouraging testimonies.

But the presenter at the retreat said
You can’t write to your partners about this
Because they want to hear about accomplishments.
They don’t want ot hear about your sitting at Jesus feet.

I thought . . . He does not know my partners.
My family, friends and partners
Would understand
How God might decide to change
My Martha plans into a Mary process.

Addendum:
I received over twenty emails and over 10 facebook comments
All of them affirming the need to make to to be Mary
Before one can ever be effective as a Martha.
It resonated with many as something they need to consider more.

Dalene DeGraaf
Missionary to East Africa
Set Free Ministries.